Confessions From A Salsa Valentina Addict.

I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.
I will not ever ever ever again eat hot sauce. It makes my tummy hurt a lot, a lot, a lot.

Flowers on my bike basket.

My mom brought home a fake flower arrangement. Since last year, the real flowers I put on my bike basket quickly withered, I decided to put the flower pot inside my basket. My dad didn't waste time telling me he thought it looked ridiculous. He even went as far as demanding that I get rid of them. I told him that it was just a matter of his opinion; and that it's feminine for me to like flowers. Well, I got rid of the pot and entwined the flowers on the basket. He was livid. I decided to make a deal with him. Since he thinks they're so ridiculous I told him I'd get rid of them once he got rid of his mullet. He declined; demanding that I take them off. I told him if he wanted them off he'd have to take them off himself. So far he hasn't; but I wish he would, already. Today, on my way home from the library there were a couple of bees on them. This is illogical; my fake flowers don't have nectar. Why are they attracting bees?

Si por pendeja me caigo, por chingona me levanto.

There is a woman wearing my clothes and my skin and my smell but it isn't me. Sin is like ink, it bleeds into a person, coloring, making you someone other than you used to be. And it's indelible. Try as much as you want, you cannot get yourself back.
Words can't pull me back from the edge. Neither can day light. This isn't something to get over, it's an atmosphere I need to learn to breathe. Grow gills for transgression, take it into my lungs for every gasp.
It is a startling thing. I wonder who this person is, going through the motions of my life. I want to take her hand. And then I want to push her, hard, off a cliff.
-Jody Picoult.

it's not a kiwi it's a watermelon

An old man called me kiwi head. Then, he threw me off and I rode on the inside lane instead of the bike lane, and a lady sped by and yelled at me "you're supposed to ride in the fucking outside lane" Then, Raquel passed me as she drove off to Columbus. I could only feel the rebuke from her younger brother since I was being careless and riding on the inside lane. It's not fair, the weather has gone back to cold again. The old man called me kiwi head, it's not a kiwi it's a watermelon. I took a shower once I got home and fell asleep while doing homework. I was frustrated and wanted to cry. At least a lot of homework got done.

It's December 5 2011. And it's raining.

You know, if public nudity were legal, I wouldn't have had to replace broken umbrellas every three weeks. A towel at my place of destination would suffice. But noo. Damn you, Adam and Eve.

Alas, I should be grateful we have actual fall temperatures, and it's not snowing this late in autumn.

Enchiladas.

This is how enchiladas work out at my house: My dad wants enchiladas with cebolla. I must also make entomatadas because my mom doesn't eat chile. Since my brother would rather eat entomatadas than enchiladas I also have to prepare some for him, but without cebolla. What do I eat? Neither because lately I have been getting acid reflux. It used to be that I only got it when I made either dish for sabbath lunch, when they would be reheated.

On the bright side I have chile made from last week. And I think I'll just eat some buttered corn.

It's funny how back in 06 I desperately wanted to know how to make enchiladas. And now only 5 years later, after I'm pretty much a pro that even women from church ask me how to make them so they won't fall apart. I can't even eat them.

Tamales

So.... Where is my tamales recipe? Sometime during the kitchen renovation it was misplaced. I know for a fact I removed it from the old fridge before it got hauled away. Thanksgiving is but two days away and I do not have my recipe. One would think I would know it by heart by now; but it's one of those things I still need to glance at given that I only really use it during winter months. If I don't find it, I have at least remembered the ingredients. I know for a fact that I had perfected the measurements of all ingredients on the copy that was on the fridge.

Yes it's thanksgiving, but given that my family is vegetarian we don't eat turkey. I have never had an interest in shaping tofu into one either. However, I do love tofurkey deli slices, irrelevant.

We had turkey when we lived in Juarez given that my dad worked in El Paso and he got a turkey every year. Once we moved to Cleveland we celebrated thanksgiving the American way but only a handful of times before becoming vegetarian.

I admit that my tamales are not authentic. For one they are made with mazeca, which is instant; I do not have a tortilleria to go get the Maza from. And two, being a vegetarian, I do not use lard. Also, the filling I make is made with morning star crumblers instead of pork or chicken. Therefore my tamales are not as laborious to make and take a lot less time to cook.

Regardless, they are the best Rafi has had. My dad just laughs at my warped tamales, not because they aren't delicious but because I have developed my own quirky, efficient way of making them. And as long as I make dirty tamales my brother is happy. Oh no, I have just realized we didn't buy anything to make the filling for my mom's tamales since she doesn't eat the ones with chile colorado.